I got in a political argument with some clown on Facebook. He managed to retrieve my wife’s cell phone number and our home phone which is unlisted and technically just provided by our Internet company that we never use.

None our personal info is really available on Facebook and our profiles are pretty locked down, but he called my wife’s phone a few times last week which she has blocked and never answers. Comes up as anonymous on her id.

He tried our home phone 16 times which I ignored, everything stopped, he called again tonight. I decided to answer. He said he knows where I live my wife and daughters name, and our address. He never gave out that though and that he is coming to kill us. Said that on the line

I have called my local police department. But this is rural Nebraska they said they can’t do anything or have our phone companies run a trace.

Is there anything I can do to figure out who this guy is?

  • communism@lemmy.ml
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    3 minutes ago

    Get a gun and learn how to use it.

    But as other commenters have said, if he was actually intending on killing you, it’d be real stupid to call you in advance to say so. Most likely just wants to scare you.

  • fizzle@quokk.au
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    55 minutes ago

    If he were going to physically harm you or your family in any way, he wouldn’t be harassing you on the phone. He’s legit just trying to scare you.

    The best approach here is to “grey rock” him, which in this case just means not answering. You said you don’t use the home phone so just disconnect whatever device. You said your wife has blocked him so that’s sorted. Close your fb account or don’t log in or whatever.

    Call the police and make an actual report to get an actual report number. Here any kind of threat made over a “wire service” is a crime. They may not investigate but that’s not the point, in the infinitessimal chance the guy escalates, you want some history.

    Refresh home security without going nuts. Maybe a ring door camera, make sure window locks are installed.

    Then just go about your life, but maybe avoid throw down arguments on fb.

    Edit: don’t buy a ring camera.

    • bdama@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      2 hours ago

      Please do not buy Ring cameras, Amazons vast surveillance network is a privacy nightmare and is also regularly accessed by ICE and other law enforcement.

      Eufy cameras can be used with a home base and stay offline, recording to the SD card in the base. Or if you’re into it, there are many self hosting options that give you much more control and options.

      • fizzle@quokk.au
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        55 minutes ago

        Fair. I have a frigate set up myself, I just said the first thing that came to mind.

      • MonkeMischief@lemmy.today
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        2 hours ago

        This. This. A thousand times a thousand times, yes. Nobody should be blindly trusting their safety to Amazon, one of the worst abusers of trust and privacy.

        (Plus they’re the most common hardware… Guess what’s getting targeted for mass exploits?)

        Almost anything is better than giving Amazon access to your home.

  • Piperpiper1@lemmy.ml
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    3 hours ago

    I’m sorry that you and your family are going through this, this is a genuinely terrifying situation to be in and you’re not overreacting by going to the police or taking this guy seriously.

    Considering your logistics, you should look into getting a firearm if you don’t have one already. It also doesn’t hurt to put in a police report like others suggested. One thing I haven’t seen suggested itt: if there are people in your family that are too young for school/daycare or SAHW you need to think about having a contingency plan for them in case you’re at work. This could be anything from an escape route if someone gets into the house to having neighbors show up at a phone call (or leaving family with them).

  • AlecSadler@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    5 hours ago

    If you can DM me their name and any other identifying info you have (general city, photos, phone number, email address, social links, etc.) I can maybe provide quite a bit of info on them. I will not say how.

    But I would also ask what the end game is here?

      • AmbitiousProcess (they/them)@piefed.social
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        4 hours ago

        Unfortunately there’s no real way to identify him from the profile, but this guy’s almost certainly just a harmless troll.

        His profile has zero identifying info and is clearly intended to be a harassment account. (literally the only post he’s ever made is a sign saying “Support Your Local ICE Raids”) A clear hallmark of a troll is just an account made for a clear and obvious purpose: aggravating you.

        The name “Frank Rizzo” is the same as this Frank Rizzo who did things like urging supporters to “vote white”, decreasing black people hired as part of the police force, raiding the Black Panther Party, general police brutality and racism, etc. A common thing trolls will do is take the name of a historical figure that somewhat aligns with the ideologies they’re trolling about, and using that name or a variation of it.

        If he actually intended to kill your family, he wouldn’t have given you advance warning so you could prepare, and if he was local and was just stupid enough to do so, he probably would have shown up already.

        Trolls incredibly frequently will just say anything they can to make you either angry or afraid, death threats included.

        I’m not necessarily saying there’s no threat here, but it seems to me like just a guy making a deliberately inflammatory account, using data brokers to get freely available information because you annoyed him a bit, then saying what he can to make you angry and afraid because that’s why he made the account in the first place.

        Edit: to clarify, I’m not trying to make light of the situation at all, I just think personally this seems like a lot of troll accounts I’ve seen before.

      • Seleni@lemmy.world
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        5 hours ago

        I hate to say it, but I absolutely guarantee the law will do nothing but show up afterwards and pick up the pieces. If he does decide to get his fat ass off the couch and come get you, you’ll have to handle him yourself.

      • AlecSadler@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        5 hours ago

        Unfortunately I can’t do much with just that.

        Keep a gun close, add some cameras, but otherwise this person is probably just a POS troll.

  • paequ2@lemmy.today
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    6 hours ago

    He probably found your info online through a data broker. Everyone’s info is pretty available on any search engine…

    I had a similar situation once. I signed up for Optery to try to delete all of my info. It worked. Also, keep in mind that you can be tracked via family. So you might delete your data, but some of your info may still be available if they’re able to look up any family members.

    This also works in reverse though! If you have any of his info, you can look him up on various data broker sites.

    Also, I invested in an alarm system, cameras to sleep better at night. Slept with my phone near and I bought some pepper spray and a bat.

  • fulcrummed@lemmy.world
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    6 hours ago

    Sorry man, that’s freaky. Dude sounds unhinged. What info do you have on him from Facebook? The info he says he has on you - how much did he actually prove by stating it? Could be that he just got the minimum info and is making the most of it to make it sound like he knows a lot more.

    When you spoke to him, what kind of accent did he have? Did he sound local?

    Can I ask how you know it was him calling your wife? How were you guys able to block his number without being able to view it?

    • Nebraska_Huskers@lemmy.worldOP
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      6 hours ago

      Sounded like a middle aged Trump voter. Profile on Facebook was an anonymous account. Here is the account.

      https://www.facebook.com/share/17tf1oeG8S/

      Because she would get a call on her phone and then he would call our home phone, both came up anonymous, she said she spoke once and asked for me he said his name was the name from the account.

      Info was my wife and daughters name. He has my wife’s phone number somehow, and our home phone. He said he had our address but didn’t say it. However wouldn’t be hard to find, live in a really small town.

      • mrnobody@reddthat.com
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        6 hours ago

        I don’t have a Facebook, so I can’t look at his account, but the *69 (or *67?) features still work to make anonymous calls, and he probably googled your wife’s name which may have had a public post or mentioning a daughter’s name, or through friends. It doesn’t take long but going down those rabbit holes is ready, and finding info is easy.

        Plenty of free sites or apps let you dig up more on people by name, too. That’ll be a good start… However, since they’re already a problem and have a head start, I suggest you just let it go, keep the police report (did you mention the threat to kill?) and maybe follow up. Document all calls even though anonymous, and maybe check if your carrier can block all unknown calls incoming. Don’t get them more riled up than they already are, and hopefully you have sensible home protection (minimum a gun-that you’re familiar with how to use)

        • Nebraska_Huskers@lemmy.worldOP
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          6 hours ago

          No home protection. Have a shotgun and.a baseball bat. Live next to inlaws but now worry about daughter coming home from school and hour by herself.

          I think the name they used on Facebook is 100% made up.

          The *67 77 whatever all require a actual home phone service. We just the basic version Kinect supplies with net

          • arin@lemmy.world
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            1 hour ago

            Never use your real name online, haven’t you learned from creating your first internet account?

          • mrnobody@reddthat.com
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            6 hours ago

            Maybe some video doorbell or ext cameras? I know how living in a rural area makes it all feel a bit overkill, but might be worth it for situations like this. I buy off brand cameras where I can pop an SD card in it and it’s free. I installed systems for all family when 2020 got with COVID and the riots over George Floyd and whatnot. We’re in Illinois, rural outside Chicago but still affected. We have a lot of crime come out from Chicago too which sucks as people go around through vehicles all over. I’m also a big tech guy so this was simple enough.

            People are too trusting to leave cars unlocked, or too stupid saying locking their door adds a broken window to the lost of things to fix when broken into. However, I reiterate insurance claims and police reports don’t look good when stuff is unsecured.

            • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
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              6 hours ago

              I’m also a big tech guy

              Well you’ll be happy to know that we don’t body shame here.

              We will however relentlessly mock you if you use Windows 11.

        • Scubus@sh.itjust.works
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          6 hours ago

          Yeah bro, america has lost. That happened a couple years ago. It hasnt been safe for minorities or lgbt for quite some time.

  • CocaineShrimp@sh.itjust.works
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    6 hours ago

    I’m sorry to hear you’re dealing with an unhinged lunatic, and I’m frustrated on your behalf that the police won’t do anything. Ironically, you could call the police, threaten to kill their family, and you’ll be picked up for free and taken to a safe place the lunatic can’t get at you

    I’d start by identifying what he actually knows. He’s proven he has obtained your names, phone numbers, and probably that you live in Nebraska; which is scary enough, but not enough to find you and cause harm.

    Search for your names and phone numbers using multiple search engines. I would look for addresses, or places of work. If he can find out where you work, it makes it much easier for an adversary to find you. An easy place to check is LinkedIn. If there is a connection with your names and where you work, I’d speak with someone at work. Tell them you have a stalker and:

    1. Ensure any customer support agents are aware they are NEVER to provide personal information about employees, EVEN IF IT SOUNDS LIKE YOUR BOSS ON THE PHONE. KnowB4 has some good training resources (not sponsored)
    2. To inform you if anyone has requested you / your family’s information.

    Next time he calls, you can ask him for your address. He’s been pretty up front about the knowledge he has so far, so check his homework and see how far he’s gotten. That will give you an idea if he can actually attack now, or attack later. If he doesn’t know your address / where you work, it doesn’t mean he can’t find out later. I’d also suggest to not lead with (do you know where I work?) as it will give him an idea; but maybe ask him how he plans on killing you? Gruesome, but it’ll let him blab. Maybe ask a friend to do this so you’re not up all night thinking about it.

    On the protection side: Unfortunately if the police isn’t willing to help, you’ll have to take matters into your own hands. Idk what the firearm laws are like in Nebraska, but you might want to look into it for self defence. I cant answer legal questions, but I’m more than happy to talk about firearms

    Do some of your own counter-intelligence yourself. Look up the guys name, email, phone number; whatever you can get (I wasn’t able to look at the Facebook profile). Build a profile against him. Might help next time you contact the police. Also, write it down somewhere and take screenshots. If he knows you’re onto him, he could delete his accounts.

    Finally, speak with a lawyer. They may be able to offer additional advice and bully the courts / police into getting off their asses and helping you more

    I’m sorry I can’t do more to help but offer advice and answer questions

    Good luck

  • nutsack@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    4 hours ago

    it’s a pretty bad idea to have a political argument on Facebook, especially with your real name and photograph right next to what you’re saying

    • Piperpiper1@lemmy.ml
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      3 hours ago

      ⬆️ This is what having nothing to add to a conversation and being a fucking prick look like

  • rossman@lemmy.zip
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    5 hours ago

    Id let some neighbors know because safety in numbers. If he truly wants to show up, then it will be an unfair fight.

    Be safe and be kind to those around you.

  • Scubus@sh.itjust.works
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    6 hours ago

    Everybodys gangsta til they catch a molotov cocktail to the face. A ring camera, a fire extinguisher. Hard to shoot someone when youre on fire. And you should know theyre coming. The moment anyone enters the threshold, neutralize them. If you want to be a good Samaritan ensure they cant threaten anyone else.

  • you_are_dust@lemmy.world
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    6 hours ago

    This is 100% just a troll. He’s not going to do anything physically. If you don’t have your profile locked down, it would be fairly easy to find very basic information about you. As far as what you can do, you can report the profile to Facebook. You can report the profile to IC3 as was recommended. Or you can try to dig into him. His profile is pretty locked down, but there are ways that you could try to get information if you dig far enough. He called you so you should have something.

    • Nebraska_Huskers@lemmy.worldOP
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      6 hours ago

      I really have nothing to go on besides that profile which I’ve blocked.

      Like I said he’s called numerous times but it comes up anonymous but yet somehow my wife has it blocked which leads me to believe he’s just using *69

      Home phone just says anonymous as well but no way to block

      • you_are_dust@lemmy.world
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        5 hours ago

        Have you asked your phone provider or tried doing*67 or whatever yourself? I’ve heard there’s apps that claim to be able to unhide a number as well but I’m not familiar with them and can’t speak for how true that is.

  • BC_viper@lemmy.world
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    6 hours ago

    Kill them. Its simple. Someone threatens you, you remove them as a problem.

    My mistake, you don’t know who they are. Ignore it, they won’t do shit. But if you ever find out, my initial advise is the only option.