The finals of major sports. Zero fucks given for the entire season, but that last game/series has everyone invested in the outcome.

The word

bed

Looks like a 🛌🏿.

Round things still are subject to friction.

That’s like saying “Water is soft and conforming, I’m unsure how it could carve a canyon.”

That’s conspiracy theory number 2.

Bad optics when he’s betting on NBA games, like Pete Rose & MLB.

That’s actually another conspiracy theory: His dad was killed b/c he owed gambling money to the mob & didn’t pay.

Michael Jordan didn’t retire that first time. He was suspended for his gambling addiction, but you can’t suspend your highest profile player without the league dying, so they came up with a cover story.

Ant-Man summoning all the ants would be way scarier than Spider-Man summoning all the spiders.

Geo.

My Dad had a Geo Metro 5-speed that was getting 49 MPG in the 90’s. Bought it brand new for like 10k. Sure it was a 3 cylinder that went 0-60 in … eventually, but it’d be nice to be able to get that kind of mileage without paying out the nose for a hybrid.

Only if you weight it wrong on purpose like they did on Top Gear…

;)

They’re upset because the “backwards commies” are better than them at a game they thought they were the champions of.

I would gladly pay shipping for a server donation… 🥺

Holy fuck, they made it to X!?

I think I stopped caring around 3.

The Animatrix was a good take on other parts of the universe.

I started using Boost during round 1 of the API debacle when Reddit is Fun got the axe. Boost was still up & going so I used it there for a couple months before it got killed, then came here & kept up with it.

I haven’t had any major issues, just the occasional hiccup like spoiler markup formatting or other weird interactions.

You get disappeared by the secret police.

If someone were to break out a stegosaurus right now, it wouldn’t disprove evolution, it would disprove the extinction.

To disprove evolution you would need to interrogate a horseshoe crab to find out what they looked like before.

You know how some people have a sympathetic gag reflex if someone is throwing up? That’s me with crying at funerals. Once someone else gets going it’s hard for me to keep it together.

To cope, I crack jokes in my head because it’s easier to fight back laughter than tears, so I concentrate on that.

Basically, try to find something else to focus on instead of all the emotions, but if the emotions come out, that’s all right - it’s a funeral, emotional outbursts are normal.

As long as the Biker Mice from Mars show up, I’m in!