It does sound like you are lonely.
I quite like being alone and doing things alone, because I am not often alone so it is luxurious and indulgent.

If you think everyone in the world except you is a loud drunk idiot, that might explain why you are so often alone though. Why in the world would you judge everyone else and hold yourself apart? There is zero chance that you are not like anyone else in the world and the rest of us just suck.

On the title: One of us, one of us…

On the text, it should be said that not liking loud party situations is actually pretty common. There’s lots of people who like drawing and cooking; that alone doesn’t mean you’ll be lonely. If you want to meet people who are into those things, groups do exist.

You do have to listen to people talk, and care about what they’re saying, though. Unless you never talk to anyone else about your interests or problems (and this thread is literally about your problems), that’s just fair turnaround. Not doing so makes you a jerk, not superior or something, which, TBH, is the vibe you’re giving off.

We are all mortal and will be forgotten someday.

This shouldn’t be a cause for concern, but a liberating fact. You are free to live your life the way you want to. If you are enjoying the lifestyle you are currently living, you shouldn’t feel ashamed of it. There is no set path for life that everyone is required to follow.

If you are feeling alone, unfortunately, you will need to sift through various social groups to find one that clicks with you. It takes time and effort, but most good things do. There are other places to go than bars and parties. If you go to volunteer events, you are much more likely to find people who look beyond themselves.

On one side I enjoy solitude, walking alone, drawing, fishing and cooking. Most people bore me because I find them dull and superficial. I specially hate the talkative, needy ones who wont shut up and believe I care what they think. I dislike big groups of drunks or people that need to yell and listen to loud music to feel good.

And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!

You need to snap out of your misanthropy.

It leads to solitude and darkness.

There’s nothing wrong with enjoying me-time and getting away from civilization for a bit, and ofc people can be annoying, especially when they’re just strangers. But not everyone is, and we all need our tribe of people to enjoy some company for some time.

Meet some people and try to see some positives about those encounters. You might learn a thing or two if you open your heart for others.

You’re not as strange as you think, but I have a sneaking suspicion that you’re still quite young (20s?). Your 20s are largely about trying to fit in and following social conventions - you do all the things you think you’re “supposed to”. As you hit your 30s, you stop caring so much about what other people think and what other people have told you that you’re supposed to do and start figuring out what you want to do. A big part of growing up is learning that there are no “rules”; you can eat candy for breakfast if you want, sing in the shower, be an absolute cringe goblin - sky’s the limit so long as you’re not hurting anyone.

Finding a partner to avoid being alone is a terrible, terrible idea for all involved. Learn to enjoy your own company first and figure out what you actually want your life to look like, then you’ll be much more likely to find someone going the same direction. Figure out who you want to be and take the steps to becoming that person. Be unapologetically yourself, and you’ll find people who like you for you, which is absolutely preferable to trying to fit yourself into a tiny box of what you think you’re supposed to be and earning the admiration of people you despise.

As some other commenters have mentioned, investigate whether you may be neurodivergent, because you’ll be much more able to make sense of yourself and the world around you with that knowledge if you are.

“the world offers me either loud, drunk jerks, immature idiots or the complete solitude I have now …” Nothing wrong with solitude but you’ve really got to get out and meet more people. Most people are not like this.

Sounds to me like you just havent met the right people to be friends with yet.

I love being and spending time alone, but I couldnt do it all the time. I think most people cant, humans are social beings by nature.

Try meeting people who enjoy the same hobbies you do, maybe those interactions will offer you some enjoyment.

You’re not strange, but people like you have low visibility and are hard to find. Party animals are obviously easy to find because you’ll find them at loud and obnoxious parties.

Here’s what I can see:

1. Sounds like you need to figure yourself out first. Do you want company (friends? Relationship?). I think legacy is overrated, but if that’s what you want then you’ll have to figure out what that looks like for you.

2. Figure out how to get what you want. If you’re looking for company that isn’t loud and is more thoughtful and introspective then you’ll have to think of where these people hang out. What activity would you find most tolerable?

3. Wherever you go, you’re always going to have to tolerate plenty of people you don’t like and don’t click with. You’re going to have to learn how to best put up with people till you find your people.

What you’re looking for is a dog!

You sound a lot like me. Have you looked at those online “am I autistic” quizzes? When I realised that I am, it explained a lot in my life and allowed me to go figure out how to deal with it.

Have you thought about writing and publishing your experiences from life and hobbies that other people could learn from?

Suddenly, dying alone with no children feels depressing

Read my long post because I feel like there is at least 1 thing you can take away from it.

Often times those people make life a lot more stressful. You can live a fulfilling life without these things. Most legacies die off quickly after a generation. How often do people talk about their great grand parents compared to their parents? Significantly less often.

I suggest you expand your social circle. Solitude is addictive. At first your wellbeing improves so you start to make it one of your top priorities. As you chase the solitude dragon, it stops feeling as good but it’s become all you know and the negative effects kick in.

Try this before you say hell no. Volunteer at an event related to one of your interests. Volunteers are normally really nice people in my experience. You can get a ‘bonus’ improved sense of wellbeing knowing you helped people. There is a void in your life because you can’t use your life experience to improve the lives of a partner or kids right? You can fill some of all of that void by using your knowledge to volunteer at things that interest you. When the event is over then you get to go back to solitude to relax. You might even meet cool people. Relationships often start with similar interests.

Accept people for who they are and don’t define them by their flaws. You don’t have to go to a bar with a drunk to be their friend. That drunk might only end up drinking certain days or time of the day. Maybe as you get to know them they show you new things about fishing or have awesome new recipes. Maybe you thought they were a drunk and then learned they normally don’t drink like that.

You are losing out on learning things you never knew existed when you define people by their flaws. An extreme example would be racism. Hating people because of their heritage but knowing nothing about their culture. People aren’t one dimensional.

You’re not that strange. It’s natural to want to share your material possessions, your knowledge and your experiences. But know, that there are different options for that than only the traditional patriarchal family: friends, comrades, roommates, neighbours. You could join a political org, volunteer at a local action like a shelter, a library, a museum, a community theater, a community kitchen. Join anything that you have any appreciation for and be ready to not just share your wisdom, but learn from others too. There are people out there who aren’t drunk jerks and even if they have some bad takes, they probably have some wisdom to teach you, if you listen closely.

Many people who get drunk use alcohol to be a bit more social. They very well may be similar to you. I got to know a ton of fun people because they (and I) were drunk. In normal day to day life they are similar to me. For me it’s difficult to find new people without using stimulants. I just don’t have the energy to engage in certain activities.