Hi, just wanted to vent a little.

We recently got refused a mortgage. Did a deep dive, and it turned out that it was due to a life-admin screw-up whereby I’d changed bank accounts and an old car insurance direct debit hadn’t been transferred across to the new one. It was our fault, but I genuinely thought the account was settled.

I paid it immediately upon discovery. Turns out the company had emailed me twice in three months, to an old account I never check, and then defaulted me with several credit agencies, resulting in me essentially losing thousands of pounds because I couldn’t get the mortgage deal I was after. All over a missed termination fee that I was totally unaware of.

I took to Reddit for a bit of legal advice and was piled on by countless sanctimonious, angry folk who were quick to tell me it was my fault and that I didn’t have a leg to stand on. They were almost gleeful, with zero empathy or acknowledgement that the consequences of our screw-up were disproportionate.

They all seemed to enjoy telling me I was fucked, it was my fault, and that the company was completely in the right.

Anyway, all I was after was a bit of advice, and I was basically told I was an entitled dick, that I needed to take responsibility for my actions, and that I wouldn’t get anything other than six years of bad credit – and rightfully so.

Disheartened by this, I sent an email to the company, calmly stating the facts, not expecting anything to change. I just received an email from the insurance folk saying that they accept the outcome was disproportionate and that they should have made more of an effort to get in touch before defaulting me. They also offered me £100 compensation.

Anyway, just wanted to share this and highlight how these armchair Reddit legal experts, with their skewed, condescending and misanthropic worldview, have really made me appreciate Lemmy and reaffirmed my decision to stay away from that dreadful platform.

  • JohnnyEnzyme@piefed.socialEnglish
    5·
    4 days ago

    social media can be toxic !

    This is the correct answer. Every platform has issues, and some aren’t even worth visiting (Facebook and X, for example).

    Certain communities on Reddit are still very useful to me, but there are indeed some fairly toxic mindsets & behaviors going on. A common one is the way a ‘downvoting herd’ will pile on to an unpopular comment, even if the comment is bringing up good points or asking reasonable questions. Many people there (and at other places) seem quite hostile towards healthy debate, let’s say.

      • JohnnyEnzyme@piefed.socialEnglish
        1·
        4 days ago

        Mais il y a eu un grand changement dans la communication au fil des années, tu comprends ?

        We shifted from ‘forum-style’ and ‘thread-type’ communication to ‘streams & reactions.’

        The latter form of such, absolutely encourages casual streaming-info tourism, which delivers quicker dopamine hits to the reactors. There are various aspects to all this, but I believe this is one of the biggest critical factors.

        • Jean-Noël Hurpeau@lemmy.world
          2·
          4 days ago

          I’m agreed with you. I wonder if this means Reddit has completly lost initial spirit. Now, bunch of porn, ads, awful paranoiac “AutoMods”, tons of karma & account age restrictions… r/NewToReddit feel like the last kind space on Reddit. So sad. I was active on Reddit with 2 account historically, never using the 2 at the same time. I deleted the first to take a fresh start, and “u/reddit” randomly decided to ban the second. Since my ban, every attempts to back on Reddit systematically failed, whenever I came with new e-mail adress or VPN. So, to 2024 from 2026, I saw too much horrible design choices and weird new features no one noticed.