Hi, just wanted to vent a little.
We recently got refused a mortgage. Did a deep dive, and it turned out that it was due to a life-admin screw-up whereby I’d changed bank accounts and an old car insurance direct debit hadn’t been transferred across to the new one. It was our fault, but I genuinely thought the account was settled.
I paid it immediately upon discovery. Turns out the company had emailed me twice in three months, to an old account I never check, and then defaulted me with several credit agencies, resulting in me essentially losing thousands of pounds because I couldn’t get the mortgage deal I was after. All over a missed termination fee that I was totally unaware of.
I took to Reddit for a bit of legal advice and was piled on by countless sanctimonious, angry folk who were quick to tell me it was my fault and that I didn’t have a leg to stand on. They were almost gleeful, with zero empathy or acknowledgement that the consequences of our screw-up were disproportionate.
They all seemed to enjoy telling me I was fucked, it was my fault, and that the company was completely in the right.
Anyway, all I was after was a bit of advice, and I was basically told I was an entitled dick, that I needed to take responsibility for my actions, and that I wouldn’t get anything other than six years of bad credit – and rightfully so.
Disheartened by this, I sent an email to the company, calmly stating the facts, not expecting anything to change. I just received an email from the insurance folk saying that they accept the outcome was disproportionate and that they should have made more of an effort to get in touch before defaulting me. They also offered me £100 compensation.
Anyway, just wanted to share this and highlight how these armchair Reddit legal experts, with their skewed, condescending and misanthropic worldview, have really made me appreciate Lemmy and reaffirmed my decision to stay away from that dreadful platform.
Most of those people are bots looking to drive up engagement by pissing you off. Reddit is dead, stay away for your own well being.
Spoiler : social media can be toxic ! For me, some Reddit users was cool, but they’re generally drowned in a mass of stupid horny people. Only the trauma communities are really good.
social media can be toxic !
This is the correct answer. Every platform has issues, and some aren’t even worth visiting (Facebook and X, for example).
Certain communities on Reddit are still very useful to me, but there are indeed some fairly toxic mindsets & behaviors going on. A common one is the way a ‘downvoting herd’ will pile on to an unpopular comment, even if the comment is bringing up good points or asking reasonable questions. Many people there (and at other places) seem quite hostile towards healthy debate, let’s say.
seem quite hostile towards healthy debate>
As stupid people indeed.
Mais il y a eu un grand changement dans la communication au fil des années, tu comprends ?
We shifted from ‘forum-style’ and ‘thread-type’ communication to ‘streams & reactions.’
The latter form of such, absolutely encourages casual streaming-info tourism, which delivers quicker dopamine hits to the reactors. There are various aspects to all this, but I believe this is one of the biggest critical factors.
I’m agreed with you. I wonder if this means Reddit has completly lost initial spirit. Now, bunch of porn, ads, awful paranoiac “AutoMods”, tons of karma & account age restrictions… r/NewToReddit feel like the last kind space on Reddit. So sad. I was active on Reddit with 2 account historically, never using the 2 at the same time. I deleted the first to take a fresh start, and “u/reddit” randomly decided to ban the second. Since my ban, every attempts to back on Reddit systematically failed, whenever I came with new e-mail adress or VPN. So, to 2024 from 2026, I saw too much horrible design choices and weird new features no one noticed.
Please find the places across the Fediverse in which you feel most comfortable, Jean-Noël.
Et j’aimerais écouter quelques-uns de vos morceaux, svp.
Unfortunately, my compositions aren’t be played yet 😒 but I’m working on that.
Okay, add me to your subscriber list, svp.
Merci bien…
I took to Reddit for a bit of legal advice and was piled on by countless sanctimonious, angry folk who were quick to tell me it was my fault and that I didn’t have a leg to stand on. They were almost gleeful, with zero empathy or acknowledgement that the consequences of our screw-up were disproportionate.
They all seemed to enjoy telling me I was fucked, it was my fault, and that the company was completely in the right.
Reddit in general are just really, really and really toxic. No one there is ever happy about someone else having a good time. If you have some problems, they are happy because it makes them think less about their own problems. It seems.
There are zero reasons to ask Reddit for advice, especially legal advice. For legal advice it is highly recommend to do research on your own or ask someone in real life that knows about it. Reddit is a combination of teenagers, middle aged and old people that pretend to know a lot but in fact do not.
Take a look at the communities about relationships, the only thing you will see are comments about ‘‘divorcing’’, ‘‘ghosting’’ and ‘‘take revenge’’. Not one single comment about handling it like an adult and talk things out, therapy or counseling and if someone ever dares to comment that. That person will get downvoted to oblivion.
That’s how Reddit is.
Disheartened by this, I sent an email to the company, calmly stating the facts, not expecting anything to change. I just received an email from the insurance folk saying that they accept the outcome was disproportionate and that they should have made more of an effort to get in touch before defaulting me. They also offered me £100 compensation.
Happy to hear that things still managed to get sorted out and that they admitted that it was a disproportionate outcome and even gave a compensation.
But I do want to give a little heads-up; Lemmy can be really toxic too. The good thing is that the blocklist is infinite and you can block anyone who’s immensely toxic. So bit by bit you weed out the bad people and keep the decent ones.
Thanks - just read a response to this post from another guy and was getting Reddit PTSD! Cheers for being human.
It’s not really Reddit so much as it’s just how other people can be. Lemmy isn’t immune from people.
If you want the blemish off your credit reports, talk to the company again and tell them you’re going to dispute those and would appreciate it if they didn’t respond to any inquiries. That might work and is the only way I can think to have that removed aside from waiting seven years.
Sorry, I didn’t explain it very well - the default is being removed as well as getting compensation. I wrote them an honest (albeit lengthy) email.
This is a direct quote from their response:
'I’ve reviewed the outstanding balance and can see it relates to the twelfth and final payment for your 2025-26 policy. This remained unpaid after the Direct Debit instruction was cancelled, which resulted in the payment being returned to you. I’ve also reviewed the correspondence we sent after the payment became overdue. The balance itself was valid, and we’ve contacted you by email in line with the communication preference held on your policy. However, whilst our emails explained an outstanding amount was due, they didn’t make it clear a missed payment could lead to information being recorded on your credit file. I don’t think we provided enough information for you to fully understand the potential consequences of leaving the balance unpaid."
I guess my point was that these dreadful people who masquerade as experts are just tiny, bitter individuals whose advice should be avoided at all costs.
It’s wild to me that a customer agent paid by the very company that raised the default had more empathy than the ‘community’ of self-proclaimed experts I saught guidence from.
I’m glad to hear that! I mean the part about the default being removed and not the part about keyboard warrior assholes.
Empathy is not hyped on Reddit… nor on any other social media, including here.
There are still great communities on Reddit with real fine people trying to share valuable content, let’s just say most of those communities are niche and those users are not there to find people they can beat down risk-free.
I don’t know what you expect from people to respond. I’m glad you got your 100 bucks back, but this is your mistakes all along, including not ever checking your credit report, and you are trying to find someone else to blame for the outcome.
It was only when I checked my credit file (which I paid for), when the default appeared. My credit score, which I actively monitored through Clear Score, was (and is) conversely quite high, having literally never defaulted on anything until the mistake I inadvertently made. It was life admin gone wrong and owned that. But you’re exactly the type of person I was referring to.
Interesting that a multi-billion dollar insurance company could acknowledge that “Whilst I believe the outstanding balance was owed, I don’t think our communications adequately explained how this could affect your credit file. For this reason, I’m upholding your complaint.” - but this refreshingly common-sense approach fires the mind of weasels like yourself.
I stand corrected.
Lemmy is dreadful too. We also have trolls, moderators, vegans, Russia-buttlickers, white people haters, and in addition we have those overly positive white fluffy unicorn-people who live in their dreams of sparkles and joy. But at least we don’t have annoying bans here. If you’re banned you can just create another account, nobody would make a fuss over that.
vegans… white people haters
Vegans, really?
And why is it always extreme right-wingers who do the “white people haters” thing? Paranoid much?
Yes, we have vegans here. You have problems with that?
What are the vegans gonna do? Bite him?
What do you mean? You’re the one who seems to have something against them.
No? I have nothing about them. The list I provided wasn’t the list of “bad” contingent, but more a list of loud and annoying contingent. And before you start to imply some other YOUR ideas to my message: no, I don’t consider ALL vegans loud and annoying.
Listen, you’re overthinking things. Stop that.
Alright, mate. I guess that’s fair.
And yes, for sure we are indeed filled with a world of annoyances, true. “We all encroach upon each other” as Mahesh Yogi said, or maybe it was just baseball star Yogi Berra, lol. Sorry, I forget.
So… what should we do? Do you have a plan for us doing better…?
Plan? Me? I don’t care. That’s the internet. I can block anyone I consider too annoying. It works.
Well then, good luck with that, matey. 🙃
HOST: “This has been a conversation upon a sapiens and a discrete, monkey-lizard brain.” Many things seem to be discovered in the process, is it not…?
“White people haters” lol
If you’re banned you can just create another account, nobody would make a fuss over that.
Ban evasions are against the rules though. If you’re banned from a community, you aren’t supposed to make another account and continue to participate in it.
Ok-ok. Velma WILL make a fuss, but that’s it. No more consequences:)
No it’s literally against Lemmy rules.
Theres a reason admins have the power to IP ban people.
