…apparently my roughly 2 year old and still fairly powerful desktop does not meet their requirements due to that stupid chip it needs to have. I do not wish to buy a new computer and I do not wish to be a Windows slave again.

https://github.com/builtbybel/Flyby11 will allow you to install on any older hardware by using the Server install method that skips the hardware check for TPM. That said, a 2 year-old PC could actually have TPM. My 5 year-old gaming rig does, and so does my 2015 with an i5 6xxx. Maybe your PC TPM defaults to a disabled state, or perhaps it really is not present.

Audacity(which I love)…

Tenacity is the preferred, privacy respecting fork of Audacity. Platform agnostic.

But here’s the thing, I WANT to be a Linux user…

And you can, but it sounds like you should probably keep using dual boot and learn Linux as you go. You can likely play your games on Linux (check protondb.com for compatibility and tips), but your list of required apps may be beyond your current ability to use on Linux.

However, with some time and experimentation, I suspect you’ll find the tools available for Linux might be superior to what you use in Windows. Like your mp3 normalization options are likely more varied and robust in Linux.

I do not wish to be a Windows slave again.

The only way to achieve this is to keep working with Linux to gain experience. In the meantime, there are tools and methods to limit the spying and put control of your Windows PC back in your hands.

You can block unwanted version upgrades with an app like Steve Gibson’s incontrol.

Install your chosen app-level firewall to block telemetry.

Utilize one of the popular privacy scripts (disclaimer: can easily break functionality of your PC, but easy to roll back, just make sure to save the corresponding reversion script to negate tie changes) like privacy.sexy to disable unwanted features of Windows.

All that said, it sounds like your first Linux experience had been somewhat typical, with some bumps and learning involved. I applaud you for the effort 👏. Keep learning and keep trying to move more of your workflow to Linux. The past five years has brought a lot more from being Windows only into Linux then ever before.