Often what people call “dandruff” is not actually dandruff. You might have dry scalp, which causes flakyness and the dandruff shampoos do nothing to help (I’d argue they even make the dryness worse!)

In my case it was dandruff and what made a huge difference is to wash twice in a row (lather, rinse, repeat). I leave the shampoo in my head for a bit on the second wash while I do my other shower business.

I’ll preface this by saying I understand it might be hard to get into this mindset, I’m not trying to be patronizing or reductive of your feelings.

I try to appreciate tiny little things in my day. Pleasant smells, seeing the beauty of everyday items, the warmth of tea, how pretty the sky looks when I happen to notice it.

Along the years I’ve collected little things that bring me joy to use, like nice dishes and mugs, a pretty pen with a color I love to write my notes in, clothes I feel cozy in. I don’t acknowledge them every time I use them, but they bring me little moments of appreciating what I have and the beauty of everyday items.

This is one of those chicken and egg things, I don’t know which causes which, I can tell you I consider myself quite happy with my life, I’m very grateful for where I am in life, even though my family and I have been heavy a rough year in terms of circumstances.

As for passions, I love learning and crafting, lately I’ve been focusing more on sewing, but I haven’t had much time to dedicate to it. I like spending time with my husband, just doing boring grown up stuff like buying groceries is better with company :)

I hope you get better soon!

Play the NYT wordle, mini crossword, connections for the day. I have some small simple games that can be stopped at any time. My most played ones are cake sort, water sort, sudoku and sometimes minesweeper. Also scroll lemmy sometimes, it’s small enough that it doesn’t take long to see everything that is new, so there’s no risk of getting sucked in for long

This varies by person, and he best person to talk about this is your girlfriend.

With that said, I’d do half what she paid in rent for mortgage (of half the mortgage payment, whichever is smaller), and all other expenses split down the middle. She would pay rent if she lived elsewhere, the way I see it, her contributing to the mortgage is a deeply discounted rent.

This might not work for you, you need to talk. Me and my now husband when we first started setup a joint account, and each sent half of an agreed amount there every month, or as needed. We didn’t make similar incomes, it fluctuated back and forth through the years for both of us. Some people would think it was unfair for us to pay the same. It worked for us, and both of us were happy with the arranjement, it might not be the best option for you.

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It’s really tiring to just exist inside your own head.

I’ve described it before as a box filled with a bunch of bouncy balls just bouncing off on every direction, off the walls, ceiling and floor, all the time. Every one of those balls is a thought, it’s really hard to hold onto just one, it’s hard to keep one once you’ve caught it.

When I’m resting usually I just put in some youtube video/TV show/audio book and play some mindless game for a while. On the outside it looks like it just played solitaire for 3 hours straight, but on the inside I’m just trying to follow one line of thought while keeping the rest of my brain occupied and quiet for a second.

Not about money in my case, but similar stuff happens too. I just stand my ground and say as calmly as I can (with varying levels of success) “I’m sure X happened this way” we don’t discuss it often, my dad usually just keeps up believing stuff happened his way, and we leave it at that.