Labour “Vote for us cause we’re not the Conservatives.” Proceeds to do everything like a conservative

“O wretched Man that I am, who shall deliver me from this turbulent billionaire”

Conserative, I mean Labour won’t allow that. Musky Boy is part of the donor class.

Well Labour is just a different flavour of the Conservative Party. So it does track.

But, but, but. I was told by Robert F Kennedy, the US government, and corporations that a little nuclear waste was good for you unlike candy.

It’s a big brain move. Don’t have to rescue the hostages if they are all dead.

This is why Trumpie wants the magnets. Trumpie needs to know how magnets work.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
And so are you,

Argentina, welcoming fascists in South America since the 1940s.

Won’t someone think about how all the poor billionaries and how they had to give up only a fraction of their wealth? /s

We’ll let Palestinians leave …mumurs queitly… in a body bag

• Netanyahu

No! Colonialism is only when the West does it!

• Tankies

Sweet, fucking baby Jesus. This is truly the dumbest timeline.

The Deep Ones gleefully rubbing their hands

Swaggart “Can I roll to convince the sex workers to leave me alone?”

GM “Sure.”

Swaggart rolls a nat 20

Swaggart “Oh no, it looks like I rolled a nat 1. Looks like I have to sleep with the sex workers, again.”

Reference.

Fly into space and reverse the Earth’s rotation. This way we travel back in time. I will the use my knowledge of the future to become like Lex Luthor.

The Oligopoly “We’re going to use this government money to fund share buy backs and to fatten our pockets.”

Build fiber to rural areas so they won’t need Starlink

Canadian Government “Sorry, the best I can do is get three companies that are an oligopoly to one day, maybe, fix this.”

Standing in a middle of a torrential downpour, completely soaked, getting sick, and tired.
Hails a cab
Sees that it is a cybertruck
“I would prefer to die right now then get into one”
Stops hailing for a cab