I love Linux but I don’t think it’s for you yet, at least not with a lot of sacrifices and compromises. If 3 and 6 and possibly 8 are non-negotiable then they’re dealbreakers. Some of it can be somewhat handled with things like virtual machines and GPU passthrough but that will absolutely be a bunch of terminal stuff to get running well, and possibly extra hardware.
I should also mention that I’m a goal oriented person. I just want to use it, I don’t want to tinker with it. That goes for pretty much any tool. I consider the OS a tool.
Sometimes, achieving goals require upgrading your skills and taking the time to learn them properly, and for Linux the terminal is the most powerful tool you could have. We don’t use it because we have to, we use it because it’s a powerful tool that can get just about anything done.
In your case, using tools to debloat Windows might be the best bet. I’ve been using winutil for my Windows VMs, works great and removes most of the crap: https://github.com/ChrisTitusTech/winutil
Good thing you don’t need to watch his videos to use his tools. Not a huge fan either, but the tool works and gets the job done. I wouldn’t use linutil because it’s kind of a mess, and I imagine winutil ain’t that much better, but I don’t know how to do all those tweaks myself so I welcome them anyway. If it’s useful to at least one person then it has some value.
I we cared that much about the people behind the software rather than the software on its own merits, we’d be rushing to eliminate GNU from our systems because RMS is known for some pretty disgusting takes. The guy behind Hyprland is also fairly toxic, but Hyprland is still nice.