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Thankfully in my youth I was given the space to be my true self, so now that I have a job/wife/kids with a ton of responsibility and have to “pause” some of my self, I don’t mind it was I was really quite self centered and self absorbed for the first 30 years of my life. I balanced school with going out or doing my hobbies.

My true self now is a passion for my family and my job, and I know that long term my kid will become distant and I wont always work so for the moment I am happy to be “paused” and still carve out some time for myself 3-4 hours a week to enjoy my hobbies by myself. But the real trick is integration, my son knows that the real me is someone who wants to do a lot of activities with him all the time, and so I take the time to participate in his hobbies, and naturally he is very interested in learning mine or watching me do mine.

Isn’t that the whole point? But no to the latter question. Your shoes rub your toes but you probably forget about it after a while. Ever wear sandals? There’s comfy pairs and uncomfy pairs.