nothing dangerous, just regular aging stuff I’m not gonna get into.
My parents own 3 fully furnished houses in 2 different cities in the south. The oldest, biggest one should be sold because it is simply too big and too much work for them and I live and work 800 miles away.
There are other issues I want to discuss with them, mainly involving healthcare access, credit, several insurances, what to do when my father cannot drive anymore, hygiene, if they want to age in place AND only in place, but where exactly, DNR and intubation status, will and burial…
They are cognizant but I feel they really don’t want to talk about it and like many elder parents they wished these questions simply disappeared.
I’ve seen so much shit with eldercare and even having a plan doesn’t mean shit won’t happen, it means you’ll know how to react and who to call.
I was thinking about inviting my parents to a meal at a quiet restaurant, pay the waiter handsomely and have an extensive conversation there. I don’t want to have such a conversation at home because I don’t want them to resent the room where I question their ability to live as independently as before.
I don’t know if this makes me an asshole.
There is also a chance they storm out or start yelling at me and give me the silent treatment afterwards.
If you can find a way to bring in a neutral 3rd party to be the one suggesting things it should make it feel to them less like their kid telling them what to do.
You could try blaming AI and have AI suggest they do XYZ.
I know people hate AI but it makes a great mediator because usually people consider it a neutral party
Edit: not the same, but for younger people who might want to head off this situation, I used to teach financial literacy and made an assignment to watch this 5 minute video with their parents and ask them what their thoughts were about it. It was well received overall and primes your parents to think about how their financial decisions in old age will also effect their children.