As a fellow older brother who lost a sibling in a (kinda) similar way (got my own dark memories there), I felt that.
But for me it’s just a sad reminder that that what should be an absolute statement can have an exception.
As in, even saying “I hate humans suffering at all…” requires an “except…” added onto it.
I don’t have the general self blaming issue though.
Except for the brother bit specifically. But I give myself a pretty big break for that (unfortunately due to some of the other problems). Not saying it’s better or worse, just different.
As a fellow older brother who lost a sibling in a (kinda) similar way (got my own dark memories there), I felt that.
But for me it’s just a sad reminder that that what should be an absolute statement can have an exception.
As in, even saying “I hate humans suffering at all…” requires an “except…” added onto it.
I don’t have the general self blaming issue though.
Except for the brother bit specifically. But I give myself a pretty big break for that (unfortunately due to some of the other problems). Not saying it’s better or worse, just different.