I’ve realized I’m a very atypical person: talking to coworkers in my age range today I realized they have a better financial situation than mine: they are married, some with children, own their own condos, houses, or are paying a mortgage, but can still live a normal life, own a car, some even have the luxury of not having to work 40 hours a week, but 32 because they don’t need to work more, house already paid, family and life objectives achieved.
Me: I’m 43, I don’t own but rent, meaning I pay for something I’m never going to own. The last 2 years I’ve been saving like crazy because I’m afraid of not having enough money for retirement, and because in my past I did so much stupid shit, meaning I wasted so many years not doing anything of use.
I have around 100K in the bank, I know I should invest but I’m also scared of losing that money and I don’t know if I should use that money as a down payment for a house.
My father owns 3 houses and I envy him. I’ve been thinking about asking him to sell one of the houses and give me the proceeds so I can buy my own place because some of my coworkers did that and could finance their own home. When my father went to study to another state my grandfather bought him a house there so he wouldn’t have to rent. When he moved back to home state he sold and invested the money to buy a new house there. He had way easier than me. It’s not fair. I feel… unloved?
I guess this makes me an entitled ass but I feel so… lost?
To summarize, I feel like a loser because I’m old, I’m behind most of my coworkers my age, I’m a very individualistic person but this means I’m going to die alone, but sometimes I feel alone and scared of being old and alone. I don’t own anything of value to my name, it’s like I’m an old teenager.
I would be so ashamed if I was thinking like you here. Like my dad should just give me stuff because he has more then I think he needs.
Isn’t this the definition of a narcissist?
Parents should help thier children if they are able.
I’ll give my kid three houses and live in a box if it meant he’d have a better quality of life than I.
Alright. I have the view that parents are human beings too, and if they get a bit of comfort at the end of their lives, after working for decades and raising kids, im happy to support that. Very happy.
Parents already gave decades of their life to raise me, and i would never ever ask them to give their properties away just so I don’t have to rent.
I guess I respect them as people, not as a source of income. And since I love them, I want them to feel as good as possible. It’s not about me, me, me all the time. It’s about seeing them happy. I’m here because of them.
So, I was orphaned with living parents.
My partners father has some finacial security to say the least, when he was in his early 20s my partner was stuggling hard to get his footing due to mental health, and his father (or grandfather, both played a role I know) got him a single wide trailer in a park. No doubt thinking it be a starter home for him 20 years ago, however, we still live there. We wouldnt be able to raise our own son as well as we can without this leg up. It has afforded us comfort for the next gen of kids. We still struggle, but not nearly as much as we could be.
I spent my entire 20s struggling because I was a ward of the state in turning 18, and was left on the street. My grandmother, helped my mom with everything, cars, groceries, bills, even vacations. I got nothing. I was homeless while they had houses, I never did drugs, always had a job. My mother got all the help and I was left on the street, literally.
why did my grandmother help my mom? why did my mom not help me? My mom never so much as bought me a pair of school shoes, never mind a house. Why does my partners father still help his 40 year old son? The washing machine broke, so they got him a new one as a early christmas gift. Im so fucking greatful for his parents. And in turn, I can be generous with my own kin.
My parents let me struggle and neglected me, while they got all the help from their parents. Its not hard to see why folks find this unfair. Do you know what its like to be homless on the street while your grandmother has a five bedroom, empty house she wont let you live in? It crushes you, it makes you feel worthless to them.
Id rather help my child so they can be successful and happy.
It explains your views on this, and sounds horrible of course. Hope you feel better today. :)
Helping your children shows you care about thier wellbeing. They dont stop being your children when they become adults.
Those who have more than enough should share with those who have less than enough.
Especially since the difference between the two groups is rarely hard work, and more often good fortune (like in this case, his dad receiving a house from his grandfather).
This applies to society at large, as much as l it applies to families.
Of course people are very bad at realizing they have enough. Entitlement creeps in very easily. Before you know it, two houses are no longer enough. No, you need three.
And I would be ashamed if I was thinking like you. Welcome the the world.