MJ calls what happened to her in Zion national park “small ‘T’ trauma”. She knows women have experienced worse from their partners. But she still feels the anger of being left behind on a hike by her now ex. “It brings up stuff in my body that maybe I have not cleared out yet,” she said.

Five years ago, MJ and a new partner – he was not exactly her boyfriend, and the pair were not exclusive – traveled from Los Angeles to Utah for an adventure getaway. MJ, who is 38 and works in PR, was looking forward to exploring Zion’s striking scenery; its vast sandstone canyon and pristine wading trails were on the list. But on the morning of their big hike, MJ was not feeling well. She could not shake the feeling that something was “off”; indeed, MJ would learn on this trip that her partner was seeing other women.

As they made their way up Angel’s Landing, MJ’s partner started walking faster than her. “I could tell it was getting on his nerves that I was slow,” she said. “I was like, ‘Fuck it, just go ahead of me.’” He did without hesitation.

When she caught up at the top of the mountain, they took a picture together. Then her partner hiked down the mountain with a woman he had met on the way up, leaving MJ to finish by herself. They broke up shortly after that trip. (MJ asked to be referred to by her initials for the sake of speaking openly about a past relationship.)

Last month, MJ opened TikTok and heard the phrase “alpine divorce”, a label she now attaches to her experience in Zion.

  • ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net
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    3 hours ago

    I was referring more to the concept the article was talking about and the general attitude in comments under this and other similar posts as being sexist. It’s good that this article is somehow better at covering it but this doesn’t change how most people react to those stories.

    • Velma@lemmy.today
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      3 hours ago

      It could have bolstered your argument if you had actually read the article before spouting off.

      At the end of the day, it’s just women noting to others another way men can choose to abuse. It’s just another way for women to keep each other safe by sharing our stories.

      • ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net
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        2 hours ago

        Ok, I guess I didn’t consider leaving someone to hike alone abuse because in my experience women are perfectly capable of hiking alone. It’s like saying that leaving someone to shop alone in a mall is abuse. If it’s actually reasonable to assume women need male companion in the mountains then you’re right, it’s not sexists.

        • Velma@lemmy.today
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          2 hours ago

          You’re ignoring the subtly to these stories - in a lot of cases, these women’s male partners were more experienced, were carrying more supplies, or were otherwise more prepared for going into the wilderness. So there’s an additional layer of danger when these men decide for whatever reason to leave behind their less experienced partner.

          A shop is not the same as a hike in the wilderness. People do have different levels of experience and preparedness.

          Reading the article would have shone a light on this for you.

          • ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net
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            1 hour ago

            Ok, maybe you’re right. I’ve read the excerpt which doesn’t say anything about experience or not being prepared. It’s possible that OP chose the dumbest part of the article as the excerpt and other examples are much better. After reading this silly story of a women left behind on a popular, short hike and being traumatized by it I didn’t feel like reading the rest. Maybe I will read it later.

            • Velma@lemmy.today
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              46 minutes ago

              Just an emotional knee-jerk reaction about a woman being silly. Got it.

              You should read articles before you get so flustered and overcome with emotions. Maybe apply some logic before typing out a whole comment crying about sexism.

              • ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net
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                6 minutes ago

                No, I don’t think so. It’s not a first story in the news and not first comments on lemmy trying to say that women in the mountains depend on men for survival. This is months old trend so I don’t think my reaction is ‘knee-jerk’. I also don’t feel personally affected by it in any way so I don’t think I’m being emotional. I simply don’t think that when a man and a woman go into the mountains together man becomes automatically responsible for the woman. And I don’t think reading the rest of the article will change my mind about it. I think when a woman decides to go hiking with someone it’s also her responsibility to make sure it’s safe. When I go hiking with my girlfriend she often puts limits on when and where can we go. She would not go with me on a multi day hike because she knows it’s beyond her capabilities. I wouldn’t be able to convince her to do it because she’s a grown adult and she makes her own decisions. Maybe there are some crazy situations where psychopaths manipulate women to put them in dangerous situation and abandon them but I’m yet to find a reliable report about it. Even the stories in the article are all nonsense (yes, I read it at your insistence and it’s just more sexist BS). A women left on a trail by her male AND female friends continues hiking alone on a loop train instead of turning around. A women left by a partner is rescued by a ‘“very nice man from Norway” who carried her backpack’. Because her backup was to heavy? Did she expect that her partner will carry it for her? A women with vertigo left by a partner that left to retrieve a camera (doesn’t say if he was coming back for her or not). And a women that got lost in a forest but made it home after all. The article says that “They may not have been carrying the right supplies or enough water, or were not familiar with the terrain, making them feel vulnerable” but doesn’t provide any examples of that. It’s all just “women can’t be left alone in the mountains because it’s too dangerous for them”.

                • Velma@lemmy.today
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                  3 minutes ago

                  You read the excerpt and then were so enraged by the supposed sexism that you commented at length without even reading the article

                  Maybe there are some crazy situations where psychopaths manipulate women to put them in dangerous situation and abandon them but I’m yet to find a reliable report about it.

                  Oh like the fucking guy who was convicted of manslaughter after leaving his girlfriend on a hike? A conviction isn’t reliable enough of a report for you?