As stories of men leaving their dates in ‘sketchy situations’ go viral, experts say these incidents could stem from big egos and poor communication

MJ calls what happened to her in Zion national park “small ‘T’ trauma”. She knows women have experienced worse from their partners. But she still feels the anger of being left behind on a hike by her now ex. “It brings up stuff in my body that maybe I have not cleared out yet,” she said.

Five years ago, MJ and a new partner – he was not exactly her boyfriend, and the pair were not exclusive – traveled from Los Angeles to Utah for an adventure getaway. MJ, who is 38 and works in PR, was looking forward to exploring Zion’s striking scenery; its vast sandstone canyon and pristine wading trails were on the list. But on the morning of their big hike, MJ was not feeling well. She could not shake the feeling that something was “off”; indeed, MJ would learn on this trip that her partner was seeing other women.

As they made their way up Angel’s Landing, MJ’s partner started walking faster than her. “I could tell it was getting on his nerves that I was slow,” she said. “I was like, ‘Fuck it, just go ahead of me.’” He did without hesitation.

When she caught up at the top of the mountain, they took a picture together. Then her partner hiked down the mountain with a woman he had met on the way up, leaving MJ to finish by herself. They broke up shortly after that trip. (MJ asked to be referred to by her initials for the sake of speaking openly about a past relationship.)

Last month, MJ opened TikTok and heard the phrase “alpine divorce”, a label she now attaches to her experience in Zion.

  • stoly@lemmy.worldEnglish
    96·
    17 hours ago

    You’re overlooking that men tend to be attracted to this sort of activity more and may have greater experience. When they invite their inexperienced girlfriend, they have a duty of care towards them. You’re right, sex doesn’t matter and this could be reversed, but you need to ask yourself where the statistic lie.

    This is not sexist. You’ve found the wrong conclusion.

      • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.worldEnglish
        22·
        4 hours ago

        because it’s rage bait. It’s not about hiking, it’s about men being awful to women and fanning the flames of gender war rage.

    • Velma@lemmy.todayEnglish
      93·
      17 hours ago

      Many of the women described having some level of dependence on their partner in nature. They may not have been carrying the right supplies or enough water, or were not familiar with the terrain, making them feel vulnerable.

      “It’s such a common thing,” said Julie Ellison, the first female editor-in-chief of Climbing magazine who now works as an outdoor lifestyle photographer. She has heard “so many stories” about men fumbling outdoor dates. “There’s that male ego element to it that’s not necessarily evil or ill-intentioned, but it usually has a negative effect on the partner who’s being left behind.”

      Yep! Also touched on in the article.

    • non_burglar@lemmy.worldEnglish
      74·
      17 hours ago

      men tend to be attracted to this sort of activity more and may have greater experience

      I live in hiking prime area. This is not true in any way.

      • Velma@lemmy.todayEnglish
        82·
        17 hours ago

        Men historically outnumber women hikers, but the split is relatively close. Like 55-57% of hikers are men with women and non-binary making up the rest.

        • non_burglar@lemmy.worldEnglish
          33·
          17 hours ago

          Not enough to suggest the “men are innately better hikers” thing the person I was replying to was alluding to.

          • Velma@lemmy.todayEnglish
            61·
            17 hours ago

            You’re overlooking that men tend to be attracted to this sort of activity more and may have greater experience.

            They didn’t suggest men are innately better hikers. They literally said men are attracted to this hobby in larger numbers and tend to have more experience doing it.

            • non_burglar@lemmy.worldEnglish
              43·
              16 hours ago

              men are attracted to this hobby in larger numbers and tend to have more experience doing it

              That’s my point. I call bullshit on that.

              • Velma@lemmy.todayEnglish
                62·
                16 hours ago

                The gender breakdown of avid hikers results in more men than women hiking. About 55-57% of hikers are men.

                I’m really not trying to like argue with you or anything, I just think you’re misreading what they meant. There are more men that hike than women statistically.