Back in the eighties my parents (British) bought a villa in Spain, all on it’s own on a mountainside. Over the following ten years fifty - yes, fifty - other villas were built, all independently, all by Brits, all on top of each other, most without planning permission. A group of busybodies formed a HOA-style association and took over the area, building an English Shoppe with a red phone box outside where you could buy the Daily Mail and Tetley Tea, an English pub, replacing the road signs with English ones, even an English radio station. The last time we visited and decided to sell, we arrived to find they’d illegally installed a gate across the road - the PUBLIC road - and were only giving the remotes to certain worthy residents, which apparently we weren’t.

But it’s okay. Because they weren’t dirty migrants forcing their culture on others and refusing the integrate; they were expats just looking for a little bit of sun.

So fucking many of those in Portugal. It’s so embarrassing.

Gonna go dark on this: in South East Asia the “expats” are notoriously known as sexpats because they are sex tourists.